Refinement: Archive

I just need to get this off my chest

I am so fucking exhausted with everything. I slave over my fucking job that isnt one bit gratifying. All of my income goes to fucking bills. I’m on the fucking grown up train!! I’m done! I dont want to do this anymore. I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate this world. I hate that we slave over our jobs to fucking feed ourselves, clothe ourselves, entertain ourselves.....

Feb 9th

Expectations

I’m truly amazed at where I’m at in life. God has given me everything I’ve ever wanted. An amazing loving affectionate husband, the school I’ve been dying to go to for years, and California. (: Its not that I’m NOT grateful for it all, and a part of me feels like I shouldnt even be feeling the way I do, but I’m really struggling with my different roles. I know...

Jan 27th

drained

Loving someone is one of the most riskiest thing you can do in life. I am terrified. I feel like there is no solid ground. Like it doesnt exist right now. My true concern is that what if he & I get so busy that we neglect our marriage. Matt and I chose to pick up and move to a place where we know not one person. Matt is going to start a new job and I am going to work from home and plan a...

Dec 23rd

SO

I had a big meltdown this morning.. Work. School. Wedding. Money. Time. Energy. Everything. I feel like all my hard work is going nowhere. SO. I cried and cried after Matthew left. And cried. I’m not really feeling any better. But at least I stopped crying.

Dec 8th

1 note

x.

I’m scared. This is forever. January 7th.

Dec 7th

You know what I'm excited about?

When I’m working from home, I dont have to sit and my desk for 8 straight hours!!!!! PRAISE. GOD. I’m buying a wireless headset. And I’m going to be walking. And talking. And Sitting. And Standing. So great. And so excited. (:

Oct 21st

Sipping an espresso

So I dont know what to do. After being completely heartbroken in January, you try and get ahold of me 8 months later. I said I forgave you, I did. But I’ve learned my lesson to not get close with you. You took me for granted. And all those years of investing in our friendship.. nothing comes out of it, except pain. I love you, and always will. You are so precious to me, sometimes I feel...

Sep 16th

Emotionally Exhausted

What an exhausting weekend! I have never felt so drained, emotionally. I seriously wish I could put a lid over my emotions and just not feel a thing. I wish I would not take things personally. I part of me wishes I didnt try so hard to save myself, just for the fact that I wouldnt be so hurt now. And that I wouldnt look at him with such anger and frustration. Somehow in this great mess of...

Aug 29th

Aug 14th

167 notes

I am not who I once was. I do not see life the way I used to. I feel like I’m in a never-ending dream that wont let my body wake up.

Aug 7th

1 note

Aug 7th

1,652 notes

Aug 7th

57 notes

So I'm at work and I dont want to work.

I get up at 5am to get in the office at 7am, and then come to find out that the 7am meeting is CANCELED. So now all I want to do is sleep, get on facebook, and call people I haven’t talked to in forever. Haha, Procrastination.

May 11th

“Do women have any idea how beautiful, powerful, and intoxicating their bodies...”

Apr 26th

Saturday.

Saturday, Matthew White & I got our second wedding registry done. We went to Target, opened up an account, and happily scanned everything we desire to have in our special home. :)

Apr 26th

Well Hello There!

How HAVE you been tumblr?! Ahhh so where do I begin. There is so so so much I want to catch up on. These past few weeks I’ve been wanting to blog, but I’ve been so busy & forgetful. I think what I’m going to do is start a blog about the journey that Matt & I are going to embark on, very soon. Him & I are moving to SanDiego, and I’m truly excited. It would be...

Apr 14th

The scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin.

Life through this, and you wont look back.

Mar 27th

1 note

Please.

I dont know.I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know. I dont...

Mar 9th

11,900 notes

Mar 9th

19 notes

what can you do.

Mar 9th

Feb 16th

71 notes

chasehill: Imagine walking through a frozen...

Feb 16th

4 notes

Feb 16th

“I spent my life wondering… Wondering when I’d find you I searched for all these years and now you’re right here I need you to know that Everything makes sense when you’re with me.”

Feb 16th

Feb 9th

77 notes

Feb 9th

1,062 notes

Feb 9th

2,643 notes

Feb 9th

49,205 notes

:) :) :)

I am just bursting!!! COME ON UPS!

Feb 6th

My oh my

I dont know where to begin. It seems like everything happened all at once. Well, it did. I have some news to tell you Tumblr, but I have to wait till tuesday, just to be safe. I never imagined this for myself. Not now. But I’m not complaining. I’m blessed. I’m loved. My job is going well. Its been such a pain getting up at 5:30am everday. By the time my day is over, I’m...

Jan 28th

1 note

Jan 8th

Oh wait, quick update on my love life.

Matthew & I have reached a new level of closeness that I’ve never felt with anyone. I have never experienced such a love & connection with someone. For him to be all in with me. And just to have his whole heart, is amazing. He is such an amazing boyfriend, it blows my mind. I have never met anyone so selfless as him. He would do anything for me. And to know that, is so profound. ...

Jan 8th

Quick life update.

So I moved out of my parents home. Been out for a month and a half. And now have to be out next week. So I’ll most likely move back home with my family. Hahah. Amazing right? No. But its okay. I had my pity party a few nights ago, and I’m feeling a lot better about it. I started school Wednesday, and I’ve got to say, I am so incredibly happy I’m back on campus. Fresh...

Jan 8th

WOWOWOWOWOW

Can I just say its the weirdest thing when you find out that a past lover is engaged. Its so incredibly weird. I’m happy for him. And I’m sorry for her. Hahaha. L I F E .

Jan 4th

Jesus,

Teach me how to get over someones past. There are just some things I can’t get over. I need help from You. Teach me how.

Dec 13th

Pardon my language but,

he is so fucking cute.

Dec 12th